I arrived in Boston today with a sore right foot (not sure what from) on a plane that was late and hung around a baggage carousel for far too long. It was too cold and I realized I hadn’t brought all the right clothes for Boston and the flight had been awful. But at least I don’t own a monkey.

In a market in Szihou, eastern China, a monkey trainer beat one of his three monkeys during a performance where the monkeys rode mini bicycles. The monkeys turned on him. One monkey grabbed his ear and twisted it, while another grabbed his hair and started pulling it out, then bit his neck (but not in a nice way.) The trainer dropped his cane and the third monkey picked it up and started beating the trainer, continuing until the stick broke. Chinese police are investigating allegations of animal cruelty and may confiscate the monkeys.

If you speak to veterinarian Kevin Wright of the Phoenix Zoo in Arizona, he’ll insist that primates are highly intelligent, emotionally complex, and long-lived animals that need to be around their own kind in order to develop normally. He says, “If you try to keep them as pets, you’re creating a mentally disturbed animal in 99.9 percent of the cases.” That’s why it’s a bad idea to own a monkey. And you can add in the herpes factor. Human cold sores can kill marmosets and tamarins while macaques can carry herpes B and can infect you through bites and scratches. So I’ll bet you’re glad you don’t own a monkey – and if you do, that’s your look out.

People have taken to verbally disowning monkeys – or more accurately – to diss owning monkeys. For example: “Things are tenuous. But at least I don’t own a monkey.” (Gent to gent, overheard at Peet’s in San Anselmo by Capt. Steve Stevens reported by SFGATE)

The phrase “At-Least-I-Don’t-Own-A-Monkey” originates in David Lozell Martin’s memoir, “Losing Everything,” which was written before Wall St collapsed and Bernie Madoff’s friendly neighborhood Ponzi scheme exploded. It was published recently. It has nailed the zeitgeist, I guess, and hence its concluding remark has become a memelet. All over America right now, millions of people are staring ruin in the face. They don’t own a house and they don’t own a job, but at least they don’t own a monkey.