I really should warn you before you start reading this, that this is all about smut. It is all about dirty words and not just dirty words, but dirty words that are used to describe smut and horribly smutty things. I’m reasonably certain what has happened here. You’ve stumbled across this web page accidentally and you’re already feeling a little embarrassed that you’re here. Well not to worry. Just click the “back” button on the browser and you can continue on to some more respectable destination. Sorry about that and sayonara.

You’re still reading this. In which case you must be one of the few Internet users that actually have an interest in spurcitious language. Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but didn’t you read the title of this posting? It says “10 dirty words you don’t know.” If you’re looking for someone who writes dirty, you’ve come to the right place, but also, you’ve come to the wrong place, because the words you’re going to read here may well be dirty, but like the word spurcitious – which means foul or obscene – you haven’t met with these words before. So I doubt if you are going to find this a satisfying experience.

And if by some small chance you actually have met with these words before, then I can only say that I’m deeply unimpressed. How could I be impressed with someone who has pursued smut so fervently that they know even the obscure words that appear on these pages. Here. Test yourself. There’s a list of ten.

1. Fescennine: Well have you seen this one before? It’s an adjective. It means smutty, obscene, lewd, licentious and even scurrilous. In fact it means pretty much the same as spurcitious. It refers to all the words in which you are so obviously showing an interest.
2. Aischrolatry: I write this rather tentatively, but it seems obvious to me that there are some people who appreciate  smut. You know as well as I do that I wouldn’t have written this if I didn’t recognize that fact. I write a blog ferchrissake and the whole point of writing a blog is readership. I didn’t write this in order that it sit out there on the Internet to be visited only by Internet spiders. I know damn well that there are people out there who don’t object to smut. There are some who even like smut. I’ve been told that there are one or two who even deign to visit pornographic web sites and beyond that, there are some who are aischrolatrists; people who really like smut, people who worship smut.
3. Coprolalia: I’m no expert in this area of study, but I suspect that most aischolatrists are coprolaliacs – people who use foul language with abandon. I’m not much of a psychologist, but I suspect that admiring smut and using smutty language go together like birds of a feather. The way I see it, most aischolatrists have an unhealthy attachment to coprophemia (obscene language).
4. Borborygmite: And if those aischrolatrists do have such a putative attachment, then I can confidently classify them as borborygmites. The word borborygmite, I believe, derives from the word borborygmus, which means nothing more indelicate than rumbling of gas in the stomach, a condition that we all (with the obvious exception of HRH, Queen Elizabeth II) suffer from on occasion. Borborygmus, is not a foul word and yet borborygmite is as foul as it sounds. It means a person who, contrary to all dictates of civilized behavior, is practiced in the use of coprophemia.
5. Pareunia: Aside from the scatalogical, which I’ve decided to exclude here in the interests of good taste, most coprophemia relates directly or indirectly to pareunia. And by pareunia, I mean amphigony. And by amphigony, I mean gamogenesis. I’m sure you’re catching my drift here. Just as there are many many slang words for fornication, there are also many obscure words for fornication.
6. Varietist: If you’re a confirmed aischrolatrists, then you probably don’t have too strong an interest in straight sex. Most likely your tastes are, let us say, broader and deeper. You are possibly a varietist or, if not, then you have some interest in varietists – people who are unorthodox in their sexual practices – by which I mean perverts. But varietist is a much nicer word, don’t you agree?
7. Catamite: Don’t get the idea that a nicer word necessarily means nicer behavior. It’s unlikely to be the case. I’ve been told, for example, that there are some varietists who are wont to keep a catamite. Zeus, for example, had a catamite who went by the name of Ganymede. Zeus was an inveterate varietist. Zeus spotted Ganymede while he was herding his flock on Mount Ida. As was his wont, Zeus swooped down onto Mount Ida in the form of an eagle and carried Ganymede off to Mount Olympus, where he became Zeus’ cupbearer. It always gets complicated when gods do things like that and this was no exception. Ganymede’s father, King Laomedon of Troy grieved so terribly for his lost son, that Zeus sent Hermes with a gift of a golden vine and two swift horses that could run over water. That might have settled the matter were it not for the eternally jealous Hera, who was outraged at Zeus’ varietism when she heard that Ganymede was not just Zeus’s cup bearer but also Zeus’ lover. Zeus therefore placed Ganymede’s image amongst the stars in the form of the constellation Aquarius, the water carrier, or cup bearer or, if you like, catamite. As a point of law, keeping a young boy for the purposes of homosexual sex (i.e. keeping a catamite) is not legal in any place I know of, except Mount Olympus, where they seem to make up their own rules.
8. Thygatrilagnia: Thygatrilagnia, an incestuous desire for one’s daughter, is not exactly illegal, but doing anything about it is, in most places outside Mount Olympus, where anything goes. The same is true of adelphepothia, an incestuous desire for one’s sister, adelphirexia, an incestuous desire for one’s nephew and adelphithymia, an incestuous desire for one’s niece. As far as I know, these are the only dirty words that specifically deal with incest. The sad fact is that you can have incestuous desires for any other relative and you will not be able to sum up your feelings in a single word. Oh the paucity of our language!
9. Renifleur: If you really want dirty then, in my book, a renifleur is dirty. A renifleur is someone who gets sexual pleasure from body smells. How foul does that sound? Well I suppose I could have sold it a little better. The definition is non-specific as regards which specific smells and I could have presented it as; a person who responds positively to pheromones. However, we both know that whoever invented that word didn’t have pheromones in mind. A renifleur just another dirty rotten varietist.
10. Tribadism: And finally, we come to tribadism, which is no longer as disapproved of as it once was. In fact it’s not really a dirty word. It’s just a sexual preference. In many countries tribades are allowed their sexual leanings as never before. It’s even legal in several states in America (and also in the UK) for tribades to get married. The word tribade comes from the Ancient Greek tribein, which means “to rub” and it means lesbian. The word lesbian itself derives from the fact that the Greek poetess Sappho lived in Lesbos and wrote poems that spoke of female-to-female sexuality. Because of that, the inhabitant of Lesbos, Lesbians, were all tarred with the same sexual brush for decades, something that annoys them to this day and has them calling themselves Lesbosians. We could fix this sorry situation by reverting to the word tribade and letting Lesbos have its word back. But you know that’s never going to happen.

Also:

10 Curse Words You Don’t Know
10 Insulting Words You Don’t Know
10 Nonsense Words You Don’t Know
10 Words You Don’t Know With Limericks
10 Units of Measure You Don’t Know

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